January was the worst. I experienced personal loss – significant and profound loss. Loss that, historically, I would try to numb and supress with anything I could get my hands on. So here I am, sober and dealing with losing the closest person to me in my life so far. Instead of grieving I internalize. I turtle in my relationships. I ghost at events. During this time, when I was trying to focus on anything else but the real issue, I was able to turn a super critical eye onto my business. I had the time to reflect on what I was doing and the reasons why. I haven’t been in business long, yet within these first two years, I was somehow able to derail and go down paths that I thought were important, but weren't. I allowed others’ influence and opinions to shape how I was running my business – MY business. I quickly realized that the paths I had taken were a bit obnoxious, surface and more about pandering than acknowledging talent.
Why am I legit affected by people that I don’t know? Why am I focusing on how many followers I gained/lost? And most importantly why was I aligning myself with a rapid pace of over production and high collection turnover that I successfully escaped in my previous career? Many of the foundational reasons behind starting my business were being ignored and swept aside. Here I was, tired, burned out and pretty much dreading anything I had to make, because “creating” had turned into “production”, which was never the intent. Time to reset.
In the wise words of China from Waxwork: “I do what I want, when I want. Dig it or fuck off.”
This is when I am the most motivated and at my peak of creativity. This is when I explore, experiment, learn from mistakes and try again; because to me, PROCESS plays the most significant role in the outcome. When did I decide to veer from this? The biggest issue that I feel I needed to address: why was I creating an entirely new collection every six months? How does that yield any time for true exploration of my materials and digging into the design process? I started as one of a kind, and moved into small runs, I didn’t launch based on a season. Why did I decide that I needed a fully new 10+ piece collection, plus lookbook, plus new line sheets, plus a new media campaign that adhered to a 6 month timeline- so while this is launching, I'm sweating to come up with something entirely new and start the frenzy all over again for 3-4 months from now? It just doesn’t make sense to me.
In February, I decided to create a permanent collection called Ancestors. Ancestors would always evolve, grow and be edited. A line of basics that all work well with each other and where I can build up the families within the collection. Each family has specific traits, so I can explore those techniques in different adornments and add pieces when I feel the urge. Even though the line is permanent, the collection is dynamic. The concept is stability, rather than panic and urgency.
Parallel to Ancestors, I am starting a new project called HEW. I’m going back to what I love about art– the process. Under HEW I will explore new techniques, new equipment, new mediums and new materials. As I create I will list under the HEW collection in the shop. Most pieces will be one of a kind, some may have a small run of 2 or 3 pieces. It may eventually birth an actual collection. It may just phase out…
Whatever the case, I’ll be doing what I want, when I want. And you can dig it, or...